


Wait Until it Hits You Round the Face, Dan

by eiqhties (orphan_account)



Category: Video Blogging & YouTube RPF
Genre: 5 Times, Fluff, M/M, Obliviousness, YouTube
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-17
Updated: 2012-11-17
Packaged: 2017-11-18 20:35:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/565017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/eiqhties
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>And Dan’s going to call everyone that they’ve ever known and tell them to all pay up however much they've bet now, because he’s finally got it.</i>
</p><p> </p><p>Alternatively titled: Five Times Dan Didn't Get It, And One Time it Was Really, Really Obvious</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wait Until it Hits You Round the Face, Dan

1\. The first time that Dan thinks that he’s missing some part of the conversation, or that he’s skipped out on some big inside joke, is when he’s at a party round at Charlie’s house. It’s not the maddest party that he’s ever been to, in the sense that there’s no-one falling out the windows and the majority of the people are still fully clothed – but there’s a buzzed atmosphere, and it’s just enough to prevent any boredom. He’s watching Charlie with his arm looped around Bryarly’s shoulders, and thinking about how it's kind of strange that Charlie has a girlfriend, because despite how fantastic Charlie is, Dan had always been sort of convinced Charlie was asexual.

He's just decided to try and find out where Phil has disappeared to, when Carrie appears in front of him, smiling. “Your other half is in the kitchen, if you’re looking for him.” She says, and Dan blinks at her, somewhat slowly – because he’s pretty sure that he's without an, 'other half,' and, despite the fact that he's kind of drunk right now, he likes to think that he'd remember if he'd shown up at the party with a girlfriend. 

“What?” He asks her, and she rolls her eyes at him, shaking her head like he’s a schoolchild that's just asked something incredibly stupid.

“Your other half.” She repeats again, sighing, almost frustratedly when Dan simply blinks incomprehensibly at her. “Phil,” She says, when she finally seems to realise that Dan is in no state to catch on anytime soon. Unfortunately, this doesn't really help Dan. 

“Phil’s not my other half.” He says, and Carrie looks at him incredulously.

“Of course he’s not.” She says, looking at him like he’s the thickest person in England, which is insulting, really, if you consider some places in the North of England. “Well, Phil’s in the kitchen, anyway. Go off and get him.” Carrie says, smiling, before she disappears into the thick of the crowd yet again.

Dan shakes his head, staggers off to the kitchen to see Phil, and doesn't think of it again for a good while. 

 

 

2\. The second time that it happens is after they move into their new house in London – when his Mum comes over to see the place now that they've finally got it all furnished. She looks around at it with wide eyes, and then turns to him, smile wide. “It’s amazing.” She says, and Dan ducks his head – suddenly shy.

“Thanks,” He replies, twisting his hands a little, “I mean, the first time we looked at it, Phil pretty much fell in love with it, so..."

His Mum gives him that look then, the one she's perfected since he was three years old, and wouldn't admit to stealing the extra cakes from the cupboard. “You’d tell me if there was something going on between you and Phil, wouldn’t you, Dan?” She asks, staring at him intensely, and Dan has honestly never been more confused in his life. 

“Yeah?” He says, suddenly unsure, he looks around. "I mean, we are moving into a house in London. That's something going on." He replies, trying to understand the angle that his mother is coming from.

“That’s not what I meant, Dan.” His mum says, sounding exasperated, but when he asks her to elaborate – she shakes her head, looking at him with what appears to be a mixture of sympathy and bemusement. This is awful, because it's not only humiliating, it also makes Dan contemplate awful things, like punching his mother. 

“What did you mean, then?” He asks, again, but his Mum just smiles at him and busies herself clearing away the final kitchen utensils that Dan and Phil were yet to sort out themselves.

“D'you want a cup of tea, love?” She asks him, and Dan nods, forgetting all about their previous conversations.

 

 

3\. The third time it happens is when Chris has come round to tell them some important news he's just received. They're all sitting in the living room, drinking tea from glasses, because both Dan and Phil are awful at dishes, and all the mugs were dirty. Dan and Phil are sitting on their sofa, with Phil's legs flung casually over Dan's lap. Chris is sitting on the floor, grinning up at them like he's just won himself a gold medal in life. 

It's Phil that breaks first. "Come on," He says, turning to Chris, "You have to tell us what's going on! The suspense is killing me!" 

"As much as I hate to agree with anything Phil says, he's right." Dan chimes in, and Chris laughs. 

“I've got my own show on BBC3! I actually landed my own sketch show!” Chris says, and then they're all laughing, and yelling, and somehow they all end up on the floor in some kind of deformed three person pile-on-come-hug.

Dan laughs, and pulls himself back to sitting, punches Chris on the shoulder affectionately, and says, “Well done Crabstickz. You have finally officially outranked us. Next thing we know you’ll be too famous to even hang out with us.”

Chris laughs back, then replies with, “Yeah, but I still haven't landed a beautiful woman to hang off my side. I mean, PJ is proving very difficult to convince. With the way that I'm going, I'll probably die alone and bitter. At least you two still have each other, yeah?” And then , as if something unspeakable has just been said, silence descends on the room, and Phil scrambles away from where he was sitting beside Dan like Dan really _is_ on fire. An emotion that Dan doesn't quite understand passing over his face. 

“What?” Dan asks trying to figure out what the hell just happened, and there’s an awkward pause, the room still that awful kind of silent, before Chris finally says, 

“Wanna play Skyrim?” and the tension drains like it was never there.

 

4\. The fourth time that it happens is when Dan is talking on the phone to PJ, as they're mid planning their ideas for the next video that they're going to film together. The conversation naturally lulls, and PJ takes the opportunity to say, “Oh, yeah, Dan, me and Chris are finally dating now. He says that I couldn't let him die alone as a bitter old man. He wore me down, I tell you. He had a speech and everything planned out. I think it would have been cute, if it wasn't Chris, you know? Anyway, he wanted to tell you himself, but, we were talking, and I just thought I should tell you? You know? Ya feel me? You feel, man?”

“Wow, congratulations!” Dan says, not sure what to say, but not surprised, either. Chris and PJ have been moving in each others circles for years, their lines blurring together closer, and closer. Dan doesn't really think that anyone will be shocked at the fact they're dating, now. 

“So…” PJ says, seemingly waiting for a reply other than just that, 

“So…?” Dan asks, because he isn't sure what exactly PJ's looking for. His blessing? His agreement? Confused, Dan decides that opting out is easier, “When are we going to film the video, then?” He asks, and can almost  _hear_  PJ physically start down the phone. 

“Oh, yeah, the video, right. I don’t know, man, I was thinking next Thursday? You know, you got nothing going on then, or anything”

“Thursday is good.” Dan replies, and though PJ seems to still be waiting for some sort of dramatic confession, Dan doesn't know what it is, so he just lets the conversation drift to a slightly stilted halt. 

 

 

5\. The fifth, and final time that it happens is when Dan is over visiting his parents, again. Him and his dad are sitting in his father's version of an office, hiding from Dan's mother so that they can both sneak Reeces Pieces. The conversation has flowed to a natural end when Dan's father shifts, and turns to look at him seriously. 

"So, James in our office has come out as gay." He says, and Dan looks up, confused. 

“That's, um, great for him?" He replies, not quite sure what James really has to do with him. 

"Yeah, it is," Dan's father says, "I mean, he seemed quite nervous about telling us all, I mean, it's not like any of us have a problem with it, or anything." 

"I'm glad," Dan says, "I mean, it's good that you're not like, one of those old homophobic dads. That would suck." 

"No, no, I have no problem with it!" Dan's dad says, again. To be honest, the amount that he's been staring deep into Dan's eyes is starting to bother him. Not to mention, he still can't see the relevancy of the conversation. "Look, Dan," his Dad finally says, after far too long a pause, "You know that if you wanted to tell me anything about yourself, anything at all, I wouldn't judge you for it? I'd still love you?" 

"Um, yes?" Dan says, "I mean, sure. There's nothing I can think of telling you, though?" 

His dad looks disappointed, and leans back in his seat with a sigh. "Of, course, right. Nothing at all, then?" 

"No?" Dan tells him, and leaves the room feeling like he's really missing something big.

 

+1. It's the sort of horrifically cold day where you're not aware just how awfully cold it actually is, until you try to walk to the kitchen to make some tea, and you discover that your feet turned into blocks of ice hours ago. 

Dan has buried himself under all the blankets that they have, and is sitting in the living room watching _Beetlejuice_ when Phil comes back home. He's been out for the duration of the day meeting up with some of his old friends from university, so when he comes to stand in their lounge, he looks completely frozen through. 

His nose is bright red from the cold, and his cheeks are ridiculously flushed. 

Slowly, Phil plonks himself down on the other side of the sofa, and, looking straight ahead, he opens his mouth. Dan doesn't know what he's expecting, but he's thinking it will be somewhere along the lines of asking for blankets, or talking about his friends, or telling Dan that it doesn't matter he's forty minutes into the movie, he still has to rewind it. Dan doesn't know what he's expecting, but he knows that it was anything other than what Phil actually says. 

“I love you. Like, properly, am in love with you, love you.”

And Dan can do nothing but stare at Phil. Phil, who's still looking straight ahead, hands twisting incessantly in his lap. Phil, who's cheeks aren't just flushed from the cold now, who looks so nervous, so scared, so bizarrely  _unsure_  that it all finally,  _finally_ clicks for Dan. 

All of the questions people asked him, the subtle implications, the comments that they made. All the assumptions they were a couple, that stupid feeling he got whenever he looked at Phil, and the jealousy, and the tiny, ridiculous, little day to day things that Phil did that were just so _Phil,_ just so  _stupid_ that Dan couldn't help but smile. Couldn't help but laugh.

“Oh.” Dan says, after what was probably too long a pause. And then, “Oh.”

Then he's leaving his protective cave of blankets, the cold, the movie, everything else he was doing suddenly seeming so unimportant, because this is him and Phil. _Him_ and  _Phil_. “Yeah," Dan says, grasping Phil's face between his hands and sitting on his lap, "Yeah, yeah. I love you. I love you too."

Then they're kissing, Dan's hands awkwardly bracketing Phil's face, their teeth clacking painfully together because they can't stop _smiling,_ Phil's hands tangling horribly in Dan's hair, and it's perfect. It's completely and utterly perfect, and Dan has no _idea_ how it's taken him this long to realise, because right now he's pretty sure that there's something in his heart trying to claw its way out through his stomach. It doesn't even matter that he's bent at a really awkward angle trying to get closer to Phil, because this is  _it._ They've finally fucking  _got_ it. 

Then Phil gently, slowly pulls away, and he's grinning as much as Dan is, and still smiling, Phil tips their foreheads together and says, “ _Oh_.”

And Dan is going to call everyone that they’ve ever known and tell them to pay up however much they had bet _now_ , because he’s finally got it.

_Finally._

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfiction is incredibly old now, in fact, it's up there in some of the oldest stuff that I've ever written, believe it or not. (I know, I know. It's rivaled only by some questionably bad MCR fanfiction, and some questionably worse Harry Potter stuff) However, it still gets such amazing feedback, so I'd like to thank everyone for that! :) 
> 
> Now, I first published this on the 17th November 2012, and someone was wonderful enough to make a podfic of my fanfiction. However, on the 29th of July 2014 (I know, I know, I'm a bit late) I decided that I _really_ needed to go back and fix a couple of things in this fanfiction. I kept a lot of it very similar, but there will be inaccuracy in the podfic, please _do not_ blame the wonderful creator for that! 
> 
> **UPDATE 22/8/14:** I finally found a person to replace Alex Day with!!! Yay!!! Now, let's all never mention him again. (For reasons why, see comments below) 
> 
> Thank you again! <3

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Wait 'til it hits you round you the face, Dan (podfic)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/842896) by [orphan_account](https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account)




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